Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Mind Games

I refuse meds. I've learned to enjoy the merry-go-round in my head. Sometimes it's a kaleidoscope, Sometimes it's a starry night. In life, I've succeeded, I've failed, I continue. Hopelessly hopeful. Dreamer. I gave up living a normal life or finding a permanent relationship (no I haven't... shhhh... if someone understands they might stay and share the dream) and I'll work until I die because I give everything away. I live in the moment, swim through the loneliness, try not to drown, and challenge my brain to find fun and humor in everything cuz it's there. I'm too stubborn to stop believing in love. Never give up, never surrender. There are cartoons playing in my head all the time and life somehow fits in now and then. Writing (babbling) maintains my own version of sanity. Perhaps you'v noticed. Self-therapy. Creativity. Communication? I read my words and feel less alone. I'm inside and outside and keeping myself company. I take a lot of abuse along my way, smile, and continue on my way. Sometimes someone rides along on this journey through this world. Those are amazing, wonderful moments. This is my experience. Loving every minute of it, even as I wish I could share it more. Anybody understand? There's always hope.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

something about a father and a chainsaw

daddy burned his nose right here cuz the chainsaw was too hot yeah, sometimes lines like this come in a dream... perhaps out of context... it was part of an explaination to a dog why his human had died, or someone was... leaning forward to speak softly into the dog's ear, the dog heard daddy burned his nose right here cuz the chainsaw was too hot... the dog wasn't sure what the words meant and maybe nobody ever will, but it wasn't the words that mattered, it was the nose to nose closeness and loving voice tones, tempo, cadence, and non-verbal cues that communicated so much more than words with the dog... that is all i remembered from the dream because i had only nodded off for about five seconds or so... the mind is a terrible thing to waste, i know...

Tuesday, January 20, 2015


some might say faith is just science we as yet do not understand but the story may be far beyond what we can imagine today and be very different after all...

Saturday, December 20, 2014

the cable guy and you

he sits at home recording images on his dvr, but not television images for this cable guy has been altering cable boxes before he installs them and what he adds to the cable boxes is a camera that is hooked into a cable card capable of two-way communication so he can activate the camera and see the view wherever the front of the cable box may be facing... this is the latest form of spy-cam website popping up on the dark web and so far, no government or company has found a technological way of blocking the signals so the cable guy may be watching and recording you right now... this has lead to increasing sales of remote sensors for cable box remote controls so the box itself can be blocked from visual view while the remote control can still be used... so there is a solution, however most people are not aware and this pleases the cable guy in many ways...