I refuse meds. I've learned to enjoy the merry-go-round in my head. Sometimes it's a kaleidoscope, Sometimes it's a starry night. In life, I've succeeded, I've failed, I continue. Hopelessly hopeful. Dreamer. I gave up living a normal life or finding a permanent relationship (no I haven't... shhhh... if someone understands they might stay and share the dream) and I'll work until I die because I give everything away. I live in the moment, swim through the loneliness, try not to drown, and challenge my brain to find fun and humor in everything cuz it's there. I'm too stubborn to stop believing in love. Never give up, never surrender. There are cartoons playing in my head all the time and life somehow fits in now and then. Writing (babbling) maintains my own version of sanity. Perhaps you'v noticed. Self-therapy. Creativity. Communication? I read my words and feel less alone. I'm inside and outside and keeping myself company. I take a lot of abuse along my way, smile, and continue on my way. Sometimes someone rides along on this journey through this world. Those are amazing, wonderful moments. This is my experience. Loving every minute of it, even as I wish I could share it more. Anybody understand? There's always hope.